Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
organizing the empties. That sober.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
