Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
