This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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