i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
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