Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize