It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
