My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
