Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
