She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Randomize
