Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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