well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
