make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Randomize
