I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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