he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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