spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
