**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
either way he was missing a nipple.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
