So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize