I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
