So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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