my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
she pinky promised me she was 18
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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