Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
