Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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