so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
