I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
