very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
