Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
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