WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
