jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Randomize
