My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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