I can't watch pbs sober anymore
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize