they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize
