Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
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