remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
