we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Randomize
