If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize