Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize