do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Randomize
