what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
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