your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
