thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
