My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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