So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
