I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
