Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Randomize
