You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
