you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I cannot find my penis.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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