just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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