i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
