I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
