The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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