Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
