your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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