Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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