I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
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