She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Randomize