id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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