she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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