He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
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