I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize