haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
