Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
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