This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
The best revenge is premature balding
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
