THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
