I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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