My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
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