She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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