the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
