i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
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