So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
