Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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