I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
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